Masquerade

We all carry names
Warren, Matthew, Gabriel,
They all have different aspects and meanings
But what happens when those names become blurred

Who am I?
Am I Warren? Retail worker and housemate?
Am I Matthew? Living shadow and watcher?
Am I Gabriel? Messenger and deceiver?

I look at the cracks in the walls of my head and wonder
Which mask do I put on today, and which one is screwed forever to my skull?
Which ones are twisted reflections of depravity that I can be?
Which ones was I handed to be, cast within the play?
Which ones must I bury to stop the ceaseless whispers?
Worthless
Careless
Asshole
Monster
SHUT UP!

I look in a mirror and see it shatter before my eyes
Each piece a mask staring back at me
Voices whispering of choices, of ideas
Why bother? All you are is a tool to get what they want? You won’t be missed
Not good enough for her? Make her bleed for it. Make her wish she’d never met you
Keep moving, there’s something better farther on…probably
Which one do I listen to?
Which ones do I not hear over the buzzing of the others?
Who am I?

My skin bruised and my bones broken while fighting myself.
Exhausted from running from the voices.
It’s no surprise I’m bleeding
You’re never going to account to anything
I’m sorry, we found someone more qualified
You’re uneducated
All you are is a friend
Et tu Brute?

Which mask do I show?
Which one do I hide?
I still have the pieces of some that others shattered
I have a fragment that glows like the sun¸ broken by thoughtlessness
I have a portion flecked with paint and laughter, smashed under the yoke
I have a bit that drips blood and tears, destroyed by my own hand and buried
How many masks will be as such within the year?

Hands upon my own
Time to work
Come over and hang
Press the ‘right’ mask into my hands, to my face
Or was I wearing it all along?
Who am I?